CV of Failures
This is my blog-cum-CV of failures. It is sort of an account of things tried and failed, rejections, hardships etc, you get the feeling.
It has a sole purpose:
To normalise failures in academia and life in general. Most of us have grown up with either a habit of winning or a fear of losing. I think it restricts us from trying out things and experiencing life on a very fundamental level.
When we see someone's profile, we just get to see the amazing achievements they have accomplished. We never get to see the failures because no one talks about them, no one showcases them.
While I have a page for my achievements, I surely wanted to make one for the failures. You can find several CVs of failures just on a google search. They are very interesting in general.
2021
Supportive and detailed reviewer comments
Got the following review from dear reviewer 3 for my 2nd paper when I am already battling imposter syndrome and self-doubt.
"The paper doesn’t follow the conventional structure, it is impossible to clearly understand the contribution of the paper, there is no conclusion."
2020
BIF-Tool and delay differential equations
Spent a month searching for software or packages for making bifurcation diagram for delay-differential equations. When I finally found one, I completely failed at understanding its working, went through the manual, demos, but in vain. Had to contend with a make-shift solver of my own.
Distances with friends due to Pandemic
With all of us back in our homes, failed to keep in touch with most of the close friends.
Almost no efficiency for months
For months I struggled with managing and balancing the work and small things I wanted to try in research and the precious time I had with my family. Never got the balance.
Failed to get an internship program in MPIPKS and Think Swiss
Applied for both these summer internships but didn't get selected.
2019
The struggle to "think on your own" in research
The struggle of starting to think about questions, designing analysis to test questions, asking questions in talks etc, the initial struggle of anyone who enters science. It took to a lot of time to start asking even very basic questions.
Couldn't work with a senior Professor in my field
Applied for a project with a very senior professor but he didn't space in the lab.
A project got scooped
A project on which we had working for over a year now, got scooped. Luckily there was scope to do resurrect the project.
A dip in the CGPA
Took too many courses in a semester along with the project work plus some other hundred issues. TGPA took an all-time dip.
Didn't get a neuroscience project
Applied to a neuroscience lab for a project, but was a rejected after several rounds of "interview.
2018
Took a lot of time to learn to code
Had a lot of scars from the first-semester computer science course, but I really wanted to try a computational project. So I learnt to code while working on a project and spent a lot of time understanding the syntax, functions and thousand of exhausting things, and googling everything.
2017
Started my journey of IISc
Started my journey at IISc as an average or below average here with almost no special skill in anything, Was confused and bad at almost everything till the end of the first semester.
Realised in the long run that there are several people like me and made good friends.